[Verse 1]
We hold the things we love so near,
And tremble when they disappear.
A changing world, a heart that clings,
Can turn to sorrow many things.
A word can wound, a pride can rise,
And anger cloud our searching eyes.
We build the walls, we choose the side,
Then wonder why our hearts divide.
[Pre-Chorus]
What we possess will change someday,
What comes to us may drift away.
Can we release the fear inside,
And meet each other without pride?
[Chorus]
Let the quarrels fade away,
Let kind and truthful words be what we say.
Lay down the anger, loosen every chain,
Let wisdom wash away the pain.
When we see that all things change,
We need not fight to guard our name.
With an open heart and a peaceful mind,
A path to understanding we can find.
[Verse 2]
Desire can lead us through the night,
Chasing praise and fleeting light.
We want to win, we want to keep,
Then lose the peace we long to seek.
A whispered word can split a friend,
A falsehood make a bondless end.
But truth and care can heal the seam,
And bring us closer to a kinder dream.
[Pre-Chorus]
When joy arrives, let it gently stay,
When sorrow comes, don't turn away.
Observe the feelings as they rise,
With steady heart and open eyes.
[Chorus]
Let the quarrels fade away,
Let kind and truthful words be what we say.
Lay down the anger, loosen every chain,
Let wisdom wash away the pain.
When we see that all things change,
We need not fight to guard our name.
With an open heart and a peaceful mind,
A path to understanding we can find.
[Bridge]
Train the hands to act with care,
Train the mind to breathe and bear.
Train the wisdom, clear and bright,
To see what’s wrong and choose what’s right.
No pride to prove, no foe to blame,
No need to feed the fire of shame.
Where compassion lights the way,
Peace can grow from day to day.
[Final Chorus]
Let the quarrels fade away,
Let truth and kindness guide the things we say.
Release the craving, let the heart be free,
Find the roots of suffering and see.
All things arise and pass away,
So choose a wiser path today.
With an open heart and a peaceful mind,
The peace we seek is ours to find.
[Outro]
Less attachment, less division,
More compassion, clearer vision.
Through virtue, wisdom, calm, and care,
Let peace begin with what we share.
Kalaha-vivāda Sutta Niddesa: Buddhist Teachings Trace Conflict to Attachment and Desire
An exposition in the Pali Canon examines the roots of quarrels, grief, stinginess, conceit, contempt, and divisive speech, while pointing to virtue, mental cultivation, and wisdom as paths toward understanding and inner peace.
The Kalaha-vivāda Sutta Niddesa, found in Volume 29 of the Pali Canon, Sutta Pitaka, Volume 21, Khuddaka Nikaya, Mahaniddesa, Aṭṭhakavagga, explores the underlying causes of conflict and mental defilements in human life. It begins with questions about quarrels, disputes, lamentation, sorrow, stinginess, conceit, contempt, and divisive speech: Where do these troubling experiences originate?
The text explains that conflict does not arise without causes and conditions. It is closely connected to what people love, cherish, and fear losing, as well as the desires and attachments that develop in the mind. When something dear is threatened, taken away, or changed against one’s expectations, suspicion, frustration, grief, and disputes may follow.
When What We Love Becomes a Source of Conflict
The exposition identifies two broad categories of things regarded as dear: living beings and conditioned things. Loved ones may include parents, siblings, children, friends, and relatives. Pleasing sensory objects include sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and tangible sensations.
When people fear losing these things or cannot accept their changing nature, attachment may give rise to conflict and suffering.
The text also discusses stinginess in several forms, including possessiveness toward one’s dwelling, family or social circle, gains, status, and knowledge or teachings. Such possessiveness can make people reluctant to share and cause them to regard others as rivals rather than companions in life.
Desire as the Root of Longing and Expectation
Another central theme is chanda, a term that in this context refers to interest, inclination, or desire. It can motivate people to seek, obtain, enjoy, and accumulate things, as well as to hope for future achievements.
Desire is not limited to material possessions. It may also concern wealth, status, praise, pleasure, relationships, and success. When expectations are frustrated, people may become disappointed or angry, or attempt to defend what they want so fiercely that conflict arises.
The teaching invites readers to examine the point at which enjoyment becomes attachment and desire begins to dominate the mind. Something that once brought happiness can become a condition for suffering when it is held too tightly.
Conceit, Contempt, and Divisive Speech Undermine Harmony
The text gives particular attention to divisive speech: carrying words from one side to another in order to create discord, or encouraging already divided groups to become even more hostile. Such speech may be motivated by a wish to gain another person’s affection or approval, or by an intention to cause division.
Conceit and contempt may also arise when people measure human worth by birth, family background, appearance, wealth, power, occupation, education, or ability. When individuals regard themselves as superior, they may demean those they consider inferior, increasing the likelihood of conflict within families, communities, and society.
The teaching therefore encourages care in both intention and speech: do not spread words to create division, do not use personal status to humiliate others, and do not allow disagreements to grow through careless or harmful communication.
Pleasure and Pain, Anger, Falsehood, and Doubt
The exposition further explains that anger, false speech, and doubt can arise in connection with pleasant or unpleasant experiences. When confronted with something unwelcome, a person may become angry because they believe that they or someone dear to them has been harmed. When afraid of losing something desirable, a person may also become angry or lie to protect personal interests.
Doubt can emerge from uncertainty about whether desired things will be obtained or lost. The teaching encourages people to recognize their emotions and thoughts rather than immediately reacting with anger, distorting the truth, or making decisions driven by fear.
The Path Forward: Virtue, Mental Cultivation, and Wisdom
Toward the end, the text discusses three forms of training: higher training in virtue, higher training in the mind, and higher training in wisdom.
Training in virtue encourages restraint in conduct and speech. Mental cultivation develops calmness and concentration. Training in wisdom helps one understand suffering, its origin, its cessation, and the path leading to its cessation. It also deepens understanding of impermanence and the principle that phenomena are not an unchanging self.
The central message of the Kalaha-vivāda Sutta Niddesa is to look beyond outward disputes and examine the desires, attachments, fears, and emotions within oneself. Recognizing these underlying causes is a first step toward reducing quarrels, avoiding harmful speech, and building relationships grounded in understanding and wisdom.
Source: Pali Canon, Volume 29, Sutta Pitaka, Volume 21, Khuddaka Nikaya, Mahaniddesa, Aṭṭhakavagga, Kalaha-vivāda Sutta Niddesa.
Further reading: https://84000.org/tipitaka/read/r.php?B=29&A=5617
This article is an English adaptation of the principal themes in the cited text, not a word-for-word translation of the canonical passage.
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